I owe my friends and family millions of dollars

So, I’m pretty excited that other than a few IOUs floating around, I do not owe anyone millions of actual dollars. The last few months has been a financial roller-coaster of numbers crunching, tax calculations and whining. However, it has not (yet) involved any personal loans or even credit card swipes! Which is saying a lot coming from the girl who once racked up $7,000 of credit card debt in six months on nail salons, traveling and paying bars and restaurants to allow me to eat, drink and do stupid stuff with my friends in their establishments. (oops!) Thankfully, that horrifying number has since been paid off with blood, sweat and the tears of a girl who hasn’t had a manicure in very many months.

Anyway, what I “owe” approximately every person I’ve come in contact with before and during this transition is whatever their hypothetical hourly rate is for: life coaching, financial guidance, icecream nights when I was scared and needed to vent, icecream nights when I was excited and wanted to share every thrilling detail, biblical and spiritual navigating, book-sized text message swapping, strategy meetings, sanity check-ins, multiple-hours long phone dates, down-to-earth career counseling and big-dreaming brainstorming sessions.

I’m assuming this number is upwards of a few million.

One of the strangest things is how calm life seems now. After a self-inflicted six-month twister tore through a lot of what I called life, I got pretty used to the up-and-down emotional mayhem, the wake-up-nervous feeling and a general HELP I HAVE NO DIRECTION? WAIT DO I? WHAT IS HAPPENING? mindset. Plus the added pressure of “doing something great” once the ball was in motion.

I still don’t know what my “something great” is. This might be all there is to it! Just a person doing some stuff they perceive as risky in search of more happiness, fulfillment and adventure.

But no matter what the “great” thing(s) turn out to be, I will always be indebted to the people around me that (still) allow me to be a whirling dervish/calm/crazy/cliff jumping/but it’s really not that bad/emotional/un-manicured person just trying to figure life out.

Don’t worry guys, the check is in the mail.

Let’s talk! Who and what do you owe for some of your life’s crazier seasons?


Freelancer Pitfalls: Office Equipment—Storage, Maintenance and Mop Water

One of the first and most blindingly apparent perception changes I’ve encountered on my Freedom/Freelancer journey is my about my “office” (kitchen table, couch, tiny, fragile Macbook.) I am now hyper-aware of my lack of an IT team at the ready, able to fix or swap whatever necessary equipment to complete work in an acceptable fashion (except that time that they sent me overseas with a blackberry.)

When I prep to commute from my kitchen table to the living room (about 1′), I unplug all cords and wires and dump the electrical mess, laptop, papers, pens, etc. into a (nice looking!) wicker bin. This is exciting. It’s all perfectly jammed into one area, waiting for me to commute back “to the office” the next morning. No train delays, no hair brushing, nothing. I set up again in an instant, coffee brewing in the background and the excitement of this new day buzzing in my brain.

However, spying that bin about a hundred times an evening is a constant reminder that I am completely reliant on myself to provide… myself… with everything essential to conduct business and at least pretend that I am a professional adult, or maybe just capable of producing work that creates some vague mirage of an adult to whoever’s on the receiving end.

This is my reminder to be ever thankful for what I am already in possession of, with the prayer that whatever mishaps or needs come my way will also come provided for. Bonus: A reason to avoid cleaning the floor??




To be continued…

time = money but coffee = free lunch



In the name of desperately saving money… I’ve come to the conclusion that if I chug coffee from the time I wake up until someone comes home and suggests I be a human and eat something:

I don’t need to eat breakfast. (+$1)
or… lunch. (+$3)

Healthy? Totally not. Happy? My coffeejitters say YESSSS!!!! They also want me to add more exclamation points but I’m not a heathen.

To be continued